what I want to remember | month nine

Slowly catching up on documenting Paige’s first year by month. Her ninth month was end of October to end of November 2015. IMG_2214I want to remember that you were a pumpkin for your first Halloween. I want to see how many years I can dress you in “P” costumes until you decided to pick your own. We didn’t actually do anything for the holiday as we were working on getting you to sleep in your crib, but we did visit Dad’s work for happy hour the day before.

IMG_2246I want to remember that you were able to stand long enough for me to take a photo.

IMG_2195I want to remember that I forgot a baby carrier when we went to the store one day, so you sat in the grocery cart for the first time and were amazed. You looked around with a big smile on your face the entire time.

IMG_0052I want to remember that you love our coop infant class. So many toys and other kids to play with, definitely a highlight of our week. IMG_2240I want to remember that we got you to sleep in your crib. And only wake up 2-3 times a night. Hallelujah! It took a lot of work and was a slow process, but we made it. We started with crib play time and eventually made it to sleeping there at night and for naps.

IMG_0098I want to remember that you slowly became more stable as you stood up. You started playing with toys while standing, which, for whatever reason, really made you seem like a little person and no longer a baby. IMG_0099I want to remember that our night time routine is still one of my favorite parts of the day. We all play together for twenty minutes in your room and you LOVE having both of our attention on you.

IMG_0107I want to remember that you started the ‘socks off’ game. I feel like I put your socks back on you ten times a day.

IMG_0159I want to remember that you discovered the stairs. You make a break for it whenever you have a chance. And you are FAST.

IMG_9347I want to remember your smile. And your nose. And your eyes. Just all of it, really.

IMG_0217I want to remember that you made your first Palm Desert visit for Thanksgiving. You swam with dad, played in the grass, and had lots of grandparent and cousin time.

IMG_2211I want to remember our adventures around town. I love having you as my little buddy as we run various errands.

IMG_2244I want to remember play dates with our PEPS friends. I hope that we continue to get together and you are all friends as you grow up.

MartinMini4 I want to remember our family holiday photo session. Because that face.


I want to remember that one day before you turned nine months, you learned to walk.

2016 and choices

I’m going to pretend I haven’t been a terrible blogger since we gained a roommate, and just jump straight into 2016.

I hadn’t planned to do One Little Word this year, mostly because I think I stopped in January last year and I don’t see myself having extra time this year to take it on. But, I realized the other day that not doing the class doesn’t mean I can’t pick a word for the year.

If I think back on 2015, my biggest struggle was feeling out of control. I had no control over Paige’s birth going 100% off plan. I had no control over having low milk supply and the stress, frustration, self-doubt, and many, many, many pills that came with that. I had no control over having a baby that just plain hates to sleep.

Last year, I focused a lot on the struggles above. Don’t get me wrong, Paige is the best thing to ever happen to us and we spend PLENTY of time sharing knowing looks that our baby is the BEST/CUTEST/SMARTEST/ETC baby that has ever been born. But damn, mom life is hard and going from career woman to SAHM overnight took WAY MORE adjustment than I ever considered or planned for.

But here’s the thing, this whole mom thing is my CHOICE. Well mostly, Greg does weigh in. 🙂 I decided I wanted to be a SAHM. I decided I wanted to breastfeed. I decided I wanted to approach parenting in a gentle manner. I decided I wanted to switch careers from consulting to nutrition.

If I wanted to, I could be back in my consulting job with a nanny carrying for Paige during the week. I can wean Paige and not stress about my milk supply. But these are not options I’m choosing. And now that I’m looking at it this way, I feel a lot lighter. I may not be in control of everything, but I’m 100% in control of my choices.

2016choose

Choose JOY I want to choose joy all around, but specifically I’m talking about motherhood. Being home with Paige is a gift and I want to treat it that way. Her (almost) first year has flown by and I want to stop wishing the days away, and instead embrace them. I want to take advantage of all the time I get to spend with her because in a few years, that won’t be the case at all.

Choose HEALTH My own health pretty much fell to the bottom of my priority list this year. I need to get back to cooking more often, skipping the processed foods, sleeping (ha!), moving more, and in general just making time to be healthy.

Choose PROGRESS I feel really stuck around moving forward with nutrition. First, I feel almost like a fraud because my health has been so poor lately, but maybe that just makes me more relatable? And second, I have such little time to actually work. Without big blocks of time, it feels like I can’t get anything done. I want to look at my time differently and make the time I do have count. No more internet scrolling or Vanderpump watching. I read The Fringe Hours earlier this year, which is all about making the five minutes here and thirty minutes there work for you. No, I likely won’t have a grand money making business by working only in the fringe hours, but I will have PROGRESS, and that’s a start.

Choose LESS Like everyone else, I found the life-changing magic this year and have Kondo’d the hell out of our house. So I would really like it to not fill up again. Here’s to a year of less stuff, less stress, less busyness. More people, more love, more wine, more kisses.

Choose ME This one is hard, but needed if I’m going to choose joy in motherhood. I need to get out on my own a bit more. Greg and I have done a decent job of making sure we get date nights in, but I’ve done a very bad job of getting out of the house, seeing friends, doing things without the baby, and just in self-care in general. A moment or two to breath here and there makes such a huge difference, and I’ve not done that very well. Making an effort to host a girls night, taking the time to sit down and paint my nails, or hiring a sitter for a few hours during the weeks Greg is gone all week long will go a very long way to being a good mama during the 99% of time I’m with her.

So there we go. In 2016, I vow to let go of what I can’t control and instead focus my energy on choices.

what I want to remember | month eight

I swore I was going to keep up with these, but clearly I’ve failed. PC is about to turn ten months old and here I am recapping month eight. But, I’m giving myself grace and getting it done. I’d really like to turn this series into some sort of photo book since I didn’t do a traditional baby book for her. Anyway, on to month eight… which was October… 

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I want to remember the bows. I’m not really into dressing you up like a girly girl, but these boys from June & January are my very favorite thing in your wardrobe. You wear them often. IMG_1856

I want to remember (?) that this was the worst month for sleep. That’s saying a lot since you, frankly, are a terrible sleeper. You moved into our bed at night (which means one of us was sitting with you in the dark starting at 7pm) and we drove you around for every single nap. We survived, but it was dark.

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I want to remember the friends from our PEPS group. I’m so glad we’ve stayed in touch with a few moms and babies and we have play dates. You guys are fun to watch as you are starting to interact a little with each other. IMG_1889

I want to remember that I set you up on your push toy and you took off! I was shocked when you took it across the room. You are so tiny, seeing you walk is pretty funny. IMG_2190

I want to remember that we’re getting ready for winter and finding new places to play, like the mall play space. Working on your immune system! IMG_2092

I want to remember the trip to Boston and Rhode Island for Uncle Mike and Aunt Kelly’s wedding! We stayed in lots of hotel rooms and had many events to attend, and you were such a trooper! IMG_1928

I want to remember that we made a quick weekend trip to California to meet your great-grandma. You have two great-grandma’s named Clara and now you’ve met them both! IMG_1871

I want to remember that we got you a high chair. You’re tiny, so we also had to get an insert. You love sitting in it and it makes feeding you so much easier. IMG_1842 (1)

I want to remember that I can take you on lunch dates now! Mostly we go to Chipotle and you eat guacamole. You are definitely my child with your love of avocado. IMG_1954

I want to remember that you started to eat food you can feed yourself this month. The first thing was a scrambled egg yolk. Alfred wins with this new scenario as you only manage to get about 50% of what we give you in your mouth. IMG_1880

Speaking of Alfred, I want to remember that you’re really into his toy basket. We try to keep you out of it, both because gross and out of respect for the doodle, but it really is your favorite. IMG_2027

I want to remember that you moved out of your baby tub and into the big tub. You kept trying to climb out and it was getting dangerous, so into the big tub you went. IMG_1991

I want to remember that you had some serious teething this month, which resulted in four more teeth! You now have two bottom teeth and four top teeth. IMG_2015

I want to remember that we took you to the pumpkin patch for the first time this month. You had no clue what was going on, but I’m looking forward to this tradition in future years.

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I love you, baby girl.

what I want to remember | month seven

I’m way behind here, since Paige is already eight months old. But still going to recap the last two months like I have all the previous ones. My memory has no clue what happened this month, so it’s solely based off photos. This is exactly why I’m documenting. 


I want to remember how big you look in a little dress. I’ve started dressing you in clothes other than onesies and pajamas and suddenly you aren’t such a baby.


I want to remember more adventures in babywearing – I got you on my back! This means I can do things like make dinner without you attacking the dog’s water bowl.


I want to remember that we tried a few new foods with you. You still aren’t really into solids, but we kept trying.


I want to remember that this was the end of your model pose phase. It was so hilarious while it lasted, I should make a collection of all the photos.


I want to remember taking you to Portland to meet Sloane, Lauren, and Stu. We had fun hanging out and letting you guys play.

IMG_1781I want to remember that you started picking toys out of your toy bin and having favorites.

IMG_1635I want to remember that you had your first eye doctor appointment. Because I am so blind, they had you come in for early intervention. So far you look good. 
IMG_1812I want to remember that you started pulling up on everything. You are not super stable yet so we follow you around like your shadow.

IMG_1803I want to remember your first time on a swing. You loved it! We were at Suncadia on a long walk while Dad was in a meeting and decided to explore the park. 

IMG_1790I want to remember that you started an infant class on Thursday afternoons. Also, you love to eat paper.
IMG_1738I want to remember that you now get very excited when Dad gets home from work. You are usually eating dinner and have a huge smile for him. You get very fussy when he walks out of the kitchen to put away his coat and shoes. IMG_1681I want to remember that we went to Denver and you played with your cousin Maks. He showed you how to use all the baby toys and I realized you are over all the newborn toys we have at home.

monthsevenall

(one, three, five, and seven months)

I love you peanut.

New England Trip: Boston

Over the last few months it feels like I’ve gone from over-documenting to not documenting anything at all. Since I’ve totally failed on the paper documentation, I am going to try to be better at posting our adventures on the blog.

Last week we went to New England and enjoyed time with friends and family. We started Wednesday morning with a long flight to Boston. It ended up being SUPER easy. We had a full row to ourselves and Paige was so good.
IMG_2036Hanging out with dad in the Boardroom.
IMG_2039Sitting in her own seat on the plane.

We landed in Boston around 5pm and took an Uber to our hotel. We went looking for a dinner spot, but there was a Boston Bruins game right across the street from our hotel later that night and a 45 minute wait everywhere. We decided to be like our old, spontaneous kid-less selves and jumped on the T. 
IMG_2043Dads who baby wear are sexy. 

IMG_2044We’re downtown! With a baby! After dark! 

IMG_2045We found a Legal Seafood and P had her first bites of broccoli. She loved it and it kept her entertained while we ate our dinner, not at warp speed for once. Love that she is old enough now for us to order her something off the menu that keeps her entertained for a bit.

IMG_2046Thursday morning started with Paige giving herself a pep talk in the mirror. Dad went to work in the Boston office and we were off to spend the day with our good friends, Amanda and Ruby. We took the T (I didn’t realize how much I miss living in middle of a city until we had all these public transit options available to us) and met them near their apartment.

IMG_2112First stop, the park. The girls got a kick out of swinging together. (PC: Amanda)

IMG_2055While Ruby took her nap, I walked around the South End with P and managed to get her to sleep.IMG_2065

IMG_2061Loved checking out all the old homes and streets.

Aftern nap time, we went and visited the dads at work. The office happens to be right near the Boston Public Library main branch. The children’s area nearly the size of a grocery store!

IMG_2070Once the girls were tired of the library we went walking. Amanda took Ruby to another little park and I walked Paige around the Boston Public Garden (I think) to try and get another nap in.

 

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We finished the day with dinner with Jon and Amanda then took the T back to our hotel. While waiting for the train I noticed I had walked 29,000 steps that day. New record!

Friday morning we headed over to Cambridge to walk around Harvard.

IMG_2084Paige is embarrassed to be seen with us in family selfies already.
IMG_2085The campus and Cambridge are both beautiful. If Paige doesn’t get into UCLA we’ll consider Harvard as a back up.
IMG_2088Greg introduced me to Shake Shack. Totally worth it. After lunch we were off on the second part of our trip – a wedding in Rhode Island.

what I want to remember|month six

Paige turned six months old on Friday, August 28th. A monthly recap is one of the ways I’m documenting her first year. Actually, it’s now one of two ways. I dropped Project Life earlier in the year, and this month I didn’t do my DITL post. I still have my one line a day book going and I’m just sneaking this month six update in before she turns seven months! You can read previous month recaps here: one, two, three, four, five.

IMG_1379_edited-1I want to remember that you are such a happy baby. You very rarely cry and you almost always have a big smile. I also want to remember your ‘model pose’. When you’re not moving, you stay still in this pose that cracks us all up.
IMG_1191_edited-1I want to remember that red hair that is starting to grow in. Who knows if you’ll stay red, but you are definitely going to be a ginger baby, just like your mama.IMG_1184_edited-1I want to remember that your dog is starting to tolerate you. That is progress, so we’ll take it. IMG_1180_edited-1I want to remember that getting you to nap takes more perseverance than anything I’ve ever done. I’m a well educated, successful woman and your resistance to napping breaks me down. A lot of days we end up in the car, going to Starbucks, and me reading in random parking lots while you sleep. IMG_1206_edited-1I want to remember hanging out at Grandma and Grandma Cathy’s house and you just started getting up on all fours like it was no big deal.

IMG_1255_edited-1I want to remember that we finally started getting cooler weather and baby wearing wasn’t quite as miserable. Love having you close to me.

IMG_1270_edited-1I want to remember your yoga moves! You are so damn strong. That’s not just me being a proud mama, Dr. Gita is constantly surprised by your strength. IMG_1299_edited-1I want to remember that we tried you in the stroller like a big kid for the first time. You seemed a lot more excited about it than when you’re in your carseat snapped into it.
IMG_1315_edited-1I want to remember that you started solids this month! We tried egg yolk, chicken broth, and bananas. You aren’t sure about bananas yet but I’m sure you’ll be on board soon enough. 
IMG_1399_edited-1I want to remember getting your passport photo. You are supposed to keep your mouth closed (clearly whoever makes the rules at the department of state does not have a child), but every time the gentleman raised the camera up you gave him a big smile. We’ll see if it passes next month when we get your passport. IMG_1409_edited-1I want to remember that we’re seeing the beginnings of a climber. You love to clamp on to any piece of furniture you can, and the bottom of your crib is a favorite. IMG_1403_edited-1I want to remember that you and your brother love spending time with your grandma.
IMG_1427_edited-1I want to remember the beginnings of baby proofing! We’ve removed a few cords that were very enticing and put plugs in the office outlets. More to come soon!

IMG_1448_edited-1I want to remember the teeth! You got your first two teeth this month and they are so dang cute. (They are not cute when they bite while nursing.)IMG_1471_edited-1I want to remember your sleeping face. It’s so peaceful, despite whatever it took to get you asleep. I could watch you sleep for hours. IMG_1414_edited-1I want to remember that I’m doing a good job of not taking myself to seriously. I tried a new carry one day and you ended up like this. Rather than get frustrated, I took a picture so I could share it with my baby wearing group. There is NO perfection in parenting.

Untitled-3I want to remember that you resemble your daddy so much. Here you both are around six months. You definitely have my coloring and petite size, but you have his face. IMG_1143_edited-1I want to remember that you like to roll yourself up like a burrito with your blankets. We’re not even putting them on the ground much anymore because you don’t actually stay on them.

I want to remember that you are starting to get the crawling motions down. It won’t be long before we have a real mover on our hands.
monthsixallI love you, Miss P. So excited for you to experience your first ever fall.

day in the life | august 2015

The 15th was on a weekend this month. I was excited to capture more of our story with Greg in it. It was one of those weekend days with nothing planned and nothing that absolutely had to get done. They are rare, but oh so nice. 

Here’s what Saturday, August 15th, 2015 looked like in our little world…

Paige has a cold and isn’t sleeping well. Sometime around 2am I give up trying to feed and/or rock her to sleep and just brought her in bed with us. She woke up ready to start the day at 7, her usual cheerful and babbling self.

We’ve turned out to be crunchier parents than we would have thought. Everyone getting sleep is much higher on our priority list than everyone sleeping where they are “supposed to”. We’re learning as we go, that’s for sure. IMG_1304_edited-1Greg changes Paige’s diaper. She is non stop movement these days so she gets buckled in on the changing table. The dryer is currently broken, which means we’re 100% disposable diapers. And here’s the thing: it’s awesome. You can now take away my previously awarded crunchy mama label. I’m not sure I’m going to go back to cloth once the dryer is fixed.
IMG_1305_edited-1A big part of the story of the last six months has been my milk supply and feeding Paige. First stop every morning is to my crazy pharmacy of supplements and drugs that keep me at about 75% of what P needs to eat. I take something at 8am, 10am, 2pm, 6pm, 8pm, and 2am every day. I constantly wonder if it’s worth it (yes) and how long I’ll keep it up (I don’t know). But for today, I take my 8am pills and move on.

IMG_1309_edited-1Weekend breakfast is always more fun than weekday. While Greg plays with Paige and reviews our monthly finances, I get to work making a sausage and sweet potato hash topped with fried eggs.
IMG_1310_edited-1 We shouldn’t even both to use blankets anymore. Paige immediately rolls off them (or up in them like a burrito) to explore anything more interesting than the toys we’ve set out. Right now she’s obsessed with anything hanging off of an object, like straps, tags, or laces. IMG_1314_edited-1This was a big morning – Paige’s first time with food other than breast milk! We started with soft boiled egg yolk. The spoons we had turned out to be too large so I fed her with my pinky. She seemed confused at first but then enjoyed a few bites.IMG_1315_edited-1Egg face! (And, while not pictured, for the first time ever Alfred showed real interest in Paige. We knew it would happen when food was involved and he didn’t let us down.)IMG_1329_edited-1All week I’ve been telling Greg about how great Paige has been napping. And then she makes a liar of me. We try the usual crib nap and get no where. Plan B, the swing nap. Nope, not having any of this, Mom.  IMG_1358_edited-1We give up on nap time and go downstairs to get dressed for the day and fold clothes. These cuties take selfies while I finish up the folding. IMG_1332_edited-1And then we have nap success! We use a DropCam as our monitor so it’s easy to pop it up on an iPad or phone and see how she’s doing. 

IMG_1334_edited-1Yes, we still have a dog. He is not neglected but I’m sure he could use a little more love. We try.IMG_1335_edited-1After nap time, Paige nurses then we top her off with extra milk. We’re getting near the end of our donor milk stash and I haven’t been able to find anymore, so we’ll see what the next step is. One day at a time.
IMG_1336_edited-1We start to walk to our local pub for lunch but are thwarted with a flat tire on the stroller. Our air pump isn’t working so it’s time for our second plan B of the day. 

IMG_1339_edited-1Paige agrees that you can never go wrong with Mexican. In fact, it’s offensive to call it plan B.IMG_1340_edited-1 What these pictures don’t show you is how snippy Greg and I were getting with each other before lunch. We have started eating breakfast much earlier (thanks to that cute little 12 pounder), but forget to move lunch earlier too. Can you tell we were both hangry? IMG_1344_edited-1Back at home Greg breaks out his father’s day gift, a giant Simpsons Lego set. It has over 2000 pieces! I’ve never played with Lego (that I remember), so I decide to join in the fun. I have to stop teasing Greg about his revived childhood hobby because it’s fun. It’s a type A’s dream – a little instruction booklet where you follow all the rules. I thought we couldn’t be nerdier than we are, but we’ve outdone ourselves. 

We take a break from relaxation to clean the kitchen, change laundry, and clean all the cardboard and old paint out of the garage.IMG_1349_edited-1 Then we hop right back into relaxation mode. We are finishing up season 2 of the Americans – so good! Also, another currently: our living room is half decorated. I replaced almost all of the furniture then stalled on progress so there is nothing on the walls or any decorations really. (That chair is also just there temporarily to make room at the table for our Lego project.)IMG_1352_edited-1We decide to be good dog parents and take Alfred for a walk. He immediately starts running like a crazy man when we get outside. Whoops, probably should have gone on a walk sooner. On the walk we stop in at our local toy shop and pick up a birthday gift for our nephew. IMG_1353_edited-1It’s time to eat again! (No, I do not cook much on weekends.) I’ve been wanting sushi for a while and we call into our local place and pick up. We’re not going to push our luck taking Paige to a restaurant twice in one day. 

Something I love about this photo is our sauce selection. Greg has something normal that I’ve twisted just a bit but he probably has no idea (tamari versus soy sauce) and I’m using something weird (coconut aminos). Pretty much how food typically works in our family.IMG_1354_edited-1Alfred was needing some love as we ate dinner and squeezed himself between the couch and Greg. Oh buddy, we are trying so hard. Just remember, it gets easier every day for all of us.
IMG_1356_edited-1After dinner we take Paige down to bed. I love her bedtime routine. We play, change into pajamas, and read a book. She usually managed a few minutes of naked time before the PJs go on. But the real highlight is the book. She squeals and lays down next to whomever is reading the book that night. It’s just the best.

Greg straightens up the house and does the dishes while I feed Paige and put her to sleep. Then we collapse on the couch, settling in to relax. You may have noticed that P never took another nap. 45 minutes total today, which is crazy low and very exhausting for all parties involved, or so you would think…

Someone wakes up every twenty minutes. This cold is slowly killing us all. After an hour and a half of trying to get her to sleep for any decent amount of time I decide to just go to bed and take her with me.

Any day that ends with snuggling twelve pounds of sunshine is a good one in my book.

(If you noticed that Greg and I both wore gray Slalom shirt all day, Greg would like you to know that he got dressed first. I would like you to know that I’m still in a very awkward stage of having nothing to wear, so I go with what’s clean.)