I’m going to pretend I haven’t been a terrible blogger since we gained a roommate, and just jump straight into 2016.
I hadn’t planned to do One Little Word this year, mostly because I think I stopped in January last year and I don’t see myself having extra time this year to take it on. But, I realized the other day that not doing the class doesn’t mean I can’t pick a word for the year.
If I think back on 2015, my biggest struggle was feeling out of control. I had no control over Paige’s birth going 100% off plan. I had no control over having low milk supply and the stress, frustration, self-doubt, and many, many, many pills that came with that. I had no control over having a baby that just plain hates to sleep.
Last year, I focused a lot on the struggles above. Don’t get me wrong, Paige is the best thing to ever happen to us and we spend PLENTY of time sharing knowing looks that our baby is the BEST/CUTEST/SMARTEST/ETC baby that has ever been born. But damn, mom life is hard and going from career woman to SAHM overnight took WAY MORE adjustment than I ever considered or planned for.
But here’s the thing, this whole mom thing is my CHOICE. Well mostly, Greg does weigh in. 🙂 I decided I wanted to be a SAHM. I decided I wanted to breastfeed. I decided I wanted to approach parenting in a gentle manner. I decided I wanted to switch careers from consulting to nutrition.
If I wanted to, I could be back in my consulting job with a nanny carrying for Paige during the week. I can wean Paige and not stress about my milk supply. But these are not options I’m choosing. And now that I’m looking at it this way, I feel a lot lighter. I may not be in control of everything, but I’m 100% in control of my choices.
Choose JOY I want to choose joy all around, but specifically I’m talking about motherhood. Being home with Paige is a gift and I want to treat it that way. Her (almost) first year has flown by and I want to stop wishing the days away, and instead embrace them. I want to take advantage of all the time I get to spend with her because in a few years, that won’t be the case at all.
Choose HEALTH My own health pretty much fell to the bottom of my priority list this year. I need to get back to cooking more often, skipping the processed foods, sleeping (ha!), moving more, and in general just making time to be healthy.
Choose PROGRESS I feel really stuck around moving forward with nutrition. First, I feel almost like a fraud because my health has been so poor lately, but maybe that just makes me more relatable? And second, I have such little time to actually work. Without big blocks of time, it feels like I can’t get anything done. I want to look at my time differently and make the time I do have count. No more internet scrolling or Vanderpump watching. I read The Fringe Hours earlier this year, which is all about making the five minutes here and thirty minutes there work for you. No, I likely won’t have a grand money making business by working only in the fringe hours, but I will have PROGRESS, and that’s a start.
Choose LESS Like everyone else, I found the life-changing magic this year and have Kondo’d the hell out of our house. So I would really like it to not fill up again. Here’s to a year of less stuff, less stress, less busyness. More people, more love, more wine, more kisses.
Choose ME This one is hard, but needed if I’m going to choose joy in motherhood. I need to get out on my own a bit more. Greg and I have done a decent job of making sure we get date nights in, but I’ve done a very bad job of getting out of the house, seeing friends, doing things without the baby, and just in self-care in general. A moment or two to breath here and there makes such a huge difference, and I’ve not done that very well. Making an effort to host a girls night, taking the time to sit down and paint my nails, or hiring a sitter for a few hours during the weeks Greg is gone all week long will go a very long way to being a good mama during the 99% of time I’m with her.
So there we go. In 2016, I vow to let go of what I can’t control and instead focus my energy on choices.